Entry 4

 Dear Me,
Wow, your smile is blinding. Big change since last time we saw you, what happened? Oh?......A boy. Now come on, you just got out of a relationship with someone, why would you want to get in another? Is that really wise? Aren't you just desperate to find someone?
What? NO?
Okay, you got some explaining to do.
Hey, it's me. The real me. Well, to explain, I've liked him for almost four years. On and off of course, but consistently still. He means the world to me and I can trust him, I know it. I've laughed and cried in front of him, and every time I've needed a shoulder to lean on he's been the one. He's never let me down.
I like him a lot. He makes me smile so wide it hurts. He makes me laugh more than I ever have before. He can turn my mood from down to up in seconds. He makes my heart lighter.
I miss him more than I thought humanly possible. That's my explanation.
Okay, well we believe you now.
We understand, though you need to be careful. When a boy is miles and miles away, you run the risk of getting your heart broke. You know that right? The only reason we're saying this is because you're as much a part of us as we are of you. Break your heart and you break ours. Think about this, think hard and long. Find the answer within yourself.
I did.
It's saying......Go to him.

Entry 3

Dear Me,
Now, now, don't cry. None of that now. Your last entry was so happy! What happened? What's that?
Oh no......You and Tyler broke up huh? Well sort of, it was more like a mutual parting as still the best of friends. Sure......let's see if that works out. Ouch! Don't beat yourself up! What are you thinking? Okay look, let me explain it to you. It wasn't meant to be right now, doesn't mean it won't ever be or that it wasn't when you two were together. But you both are in two totally different places and you can't really expect yourself and him to suffer over it. Let him go. Let him be what he needs to be and focus on what he needs to focus on. Then one day, we'll see.
Oh girly, don't cry. It'll be okay, one day you'll see. Like they say: If you love something, you'll let it free. And if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.
Trust. Just trust.

Just wait and see, you're going to be something special one day. Scratch that, you are special now. Just love and keep loving. Don't worry about what's not working out. I know it's hard, you have no job, no friends, and no way of pursuing your dreams, but it's not about what you have. It's who you are.
Those things will come with time.
And you're not alone, even if it seems that way right now.
I love you. Stay strong.

Entry 2

Dear Me,
I'm glad you're not so sad anymore. I'm glad that last night you stayed up till four in the morning, praying with all your might for resolution. It looks like it's working on you, you're smiling for real for the first time in days. I'm sorry that everything's not peachy, but I think you're beginning to understand that it's getting there. It just needs time. Like everything.
365.
That's what he told you when you were leaving, pressing your head against his chest, your tears staining his shirt. 365 days apart. You still remember his smile don't you?
"It's okay," He laughed, brushing your hair off your face. "At least it's not 366."
Did it help? Did it make you feel better? More assured?
Admit it, you can't even remember. The ache you feel after only 10 days apart clouds your thinking.
Reassurance is always there. I bet he doesn't know that you did the math and it's actually only 299 days apart. And since you're 10 days down, there's only 289 to go. See? The future is bright.
If only life wasn't so hard at home, you say. It would be easier to cope with the loss.
Silly girl, it's never easy.
Don't pout, we saw what that got you Entry 1. A stern lecture and a stuffy nose. Neither which you want right? Oh...you want to be lectured by him? Why? I can't understand this. Really, it's–
What? You just want to hear his voice? Even if it is a lecture?
Oh boy......You're a goner.

Entry 1

Dear Me,
I wish I could say everything that was on my mind, but to write it all down would be ridiculous. I can look inside you and see that you're as lost as the older sister you look down on. Like a raw wound, you're suffering. You don't know which path to chose, who to trust, or what to turn to. At this point, it looks like you're at the end of the road.
But wait......what's this? Someone has said something to you to make you wonder. Wonder what it is you're doing wrong.
Admit it, you were surprised when he didn't comfort you and agree with you as you poured forth all your woeful stories. You were shocked when he said on the phone, "What are you doing about it?"
Why were you so shocked that someone finally stood up to your drama and tears? Finally said, "I know you are stronger than this. Stop looking for your happiness in the people around you."
Was it really that surprising?
And why did you listen to him more than others? Was it just a new outlook on things? Did you want to listen to him?
Do you love him?  Don't answer that. Forget it was said.
Now I ask you though, has the world really been so cruel and cold to you that you've lost your sense of what's good and true? What's right and wrong? Is your thinking so far into the depressing that you no longer see the light shining through and illuminating the darkness?
I ask you, why have you accepted mediocre for yourself when you deserve so much more?
Why do you make yourself suffer in self-pity when you don't have to?
Why?